This weeks’ business tip is the penultimate for 2012, so I though with the holiday season fast approaching and many people getting together with friends and family (and family we often only see and communicate with at this time of year) it would be timely to look at 7 ways to handle….criticism, or feedback….because as we all know it is our nearest and dearest who love to give us feedback, sometimes in the form of criticism!
First up, be self-confident. If you hold yourself with an attitude of gentle acceptance and love, then criticism won’t rock you. So pay attention daily to the things you appreciate about yourself. Affirm your own strengths to cultivate confidence and self care.
Secondly, are you a people pleaser? If so, it makes it hard for you to receive critical feedback because all you feel is rejection. Start liking yourself and you won’t need others’ approval. Let people think what they want without you being hurt.
Thirdly, perfectionism is unrealistic. Criticism is hard to accept if you always need to be perfect. It’s okay to make mistakes and accept who you are while still being open to growth. Yes, you have things to work on – but you always will.
Fourth, don’t be self-critical and ‘beat yourself up’. When you hear feedback, do you think, “I’m not good enough…loser”? The content doesn’t count, just the fact that someone finds fault with you. You have a harsh inner critic. Take a deep breath and counter internal attacks.
There is a difference between critical feedback and straight criticism, is number five. Feedback can be productive if it is constructive, while criticism is personal and negative. Don’t accept insults. The person may be venting, hurt or just wanting to control you.
The sixth way to handle criticism, is don’t react, but do respond. Don’t react with hostility or defence, rather try a considered response for example, “I’ll think about that.” When you are calm you can return to ask questions for clarification and get specific advice on how to improve.
Finally, use it. Sometimes people who care about you will say necessary but uncomfortable truths. An outside perspective can be very useful, so separate the message from any harsh delivery and take on board what is appropriate. Don’t dwell on it.
With the above seven ways to handle criticism, go forth and enjoy the holiday season.
With thanks to Cynthia Hickman.
