Today’s workforce is composed of men and women who consider themselves to be free agents. They own their free will, drive and expertise, and they’re willing to invest these assets in support of colleagues, ideals and goals in which they believe.
As a leader, you can give them something to believe in by making every conversation real.
As a leader, you can give them something to believe in by making every conversation real.
You have to remove your professional mask and leadership persona, setting aside your authority and power. You must open your mind to others’ potentially competing perspectives and accept that you don’t know it all or have all the answers.
Leaders who strive to increase their candor and authenticity experience a growing sense of personal freedom, vitality and effectiveness. By improving their ability to have robust conversations, they gain a higher level of personal authenticity, emotional honesty, integrity and greater capacity to inspire change in others.
Start having ‘Fierce’ Conversations
The art of fierce conversations is an evolving practice — one that must be initiated and repeated on an ongoing basis. Author Susan Scott describes four critical goals:
1. Interrogate reality
In business, marketplace realities, technology and global demands shift rapidly — and if you’re like most people, you try to fix the same problems with the same solutions, expecting different results.
In business, marketplace realities, technology and global demands shift rapidly — and if you’re like most people, you try to fix the same problems with the same solutions, expecting different results.
If you fail to explore differing realities, you’ll spend an inordinate amount of time mopping up the aftermath of plans torpedoed by people who resent their organisations’ refusal to value their experience, opinions and beliefs.
Regularly interrogate reality. Ask yourself:
· What has changed?
· Does the plan still make sense?
· If not, what’s required of you? Of others?
· Which realities should be explored before important decisions are made?
2. Provoke learning
Learning cannot occur in a conversation unless both parties agree to non-judgmentally explore all sides of an issue. One common error occurs when you’re entering into a conversation with a fixed agenda, such as trying to persuade someone to alter his or her point of view.
Learning cannot occur in a conversation unless both parties agree to non-judgmentally explore all sides of an issue. One common error occurs when you’re entering into a conversation with a fixed agenda, such as trying to persuade someone to alter his or her point of view.
a. Begin with an open mind and the willingness to step out of judgment mode.
b. Make a clear and succinct statement that describes the behaviour or issue from your point of view.
c. Proceed with an invitation, such as: “Please tell me what’s going on from where you sit. I want to understand your perspective and learn your thoughts.”
d. Don’t ruin a conversation by talking for too long about your own perspective, without giving the other person a chance to respond. Don’t interrupt to voice disagreement. You don’t want the person on the receiving end to tune out or go into defensive mode.
e. Stop talking and start listening. When necessary, let silence happen.
f. Facilitate openness by asking questions non-judgmentally.
3. Tackle tough challenges
To have real conversations, you must be willing to identify and address the relevant issues in a truthful and courageous manner. Ask yourself: “What are the most important issues I should be addressing? Which issues am I avoiding?” Sometimes, this involves problems everyone knows exist, but rarely acknowledge or discuss.
To have real conversations, you must be willing to identify and address the relevant issues in a truthful and courageous manner. Ask yourself: “What are the most important issues I should be addressing? Which issues am I avoiding?” Sometimes, this involves problems everyone knows exist, but rarely acknowledge or discuss.
4. Enrich relationships
Each conversation you have is an opportunity to enhance a relationship. But for many hard-charging and competitive high achievers, conversations are used as opportunities to show off their brilliance and wit.
Each conversation you have is an opportunity to enhance a relationship. But for many hard-charging and competitive high achievers, conversations are used as opportunities to show off their brilliance and wit.
Fierce conversations are not competitive. Each participant must agree to communicate as an equal. Conversations must no longer be about you, but centred on others. This requires asking questions and listening with total focus and attention on the other person.
With thanks to Coach2Coach newsletter, June 2, 2010.
